The saddest day of my life

I am writing this post with the heaviest of hearts.  Yesterday my friends, we had to let our dear doggie go.  We spent a week trying to find out what was wrong with him and why he suddenly was unable to walk.  Tuesday night we found out he had an inoperable brain tumor.  By Thursday we realized that our last resort meds to try and give him a few more comfortable happy weeks with us were not working.  We had to let him go as much as our hearts were begging us to hold on to him.

I’ve always known that I’ve been a moved by words and thoughts more than most.  I’m sensitive and deeply emotional.  When I began writing this blog it also became clear that I was a writer at heart.  Writing offers an outlet for me in the most profound way.  It penetrates my heart while allowing me to offer myself and others comfort, joy and hopefully some entertainment!

It is because of this deeply rooted need to write, I share with you a few of the wonderful moments we were able to share with our sweet sweet Jakey during his 13 years as our family’s best friend.

He has been with my husband and I since before we had kids.

He lived with us in our first home together.  Eating his way through our kitchen floor as a puppy and digging his way out of our little yard.  True story: we got a call from a guy at a Jiffy Lube 1/2 mile away that our dog had wandered into their shop.  This little adventure of his had him crossing a major intersection and busy train tracks safely.  We knew then, he’d last forever.  Unfortunately, for a dog, forever is never long enough. 

He was there the day we said “I do” on a beautiful July evening in the Sierra Nevada. 

He joined us on long road trips swimming in any and every body of water we could find.

He was there when we brought our first born home from the hospital.

He was there for every Christmas for the last 13 years watching our family grow.

He would lay by me with each pregnancy as I slowed down in those final weeks.

He loved all three of our kids till the end.  In the last moments of his life, the kids came home, he nuzzled up to them and wagged his tail like he hadn’t all day in one last gallant effort to show how much he loved them.

He was there for job changes, house moves, and as they say, in sickness and in health.

He met every. single. person that walked by our home with a smile.  He guarded our home and watched over our babies.

His favorite place was anywhere with us.  On one road trip when the kids were little, he only had a space about 12″ x 20″ in our car for the drive.  Being an 80lb dog, this was not nearly what he needed, but he always obliged. Always.

If I had to pick one favorite place in all the world, it would be Lake Tahoe.  The miles he has swam in that lake over his lifetime are immeasurable.  Lake Tahoe is a truly special place for our family, but I will never see that lake the same again.

Thank you Jakey for an amazing 13 years.  You gave us so much joy.  We loved to see you run, jump, swim, chase, and fetch.  We loved to scratch your belly and snuggle you like a stuffed bear.

You made us a family.

You will be sadly missed.  Even though my heart does not feel it was better to have loved and lost today, I know we are a better family to have had your companionship for so long.

Sweet dreams my boy.  We love you.